PHILADELPHIA — Steve Cohen already forked over a couple of billion bucks for the team, and another $341 million for a star shortstop. So Tuesday morning he may want to spend a little of what’s left over to buy fruit baskets for a few folks.
Joe Douglas, for trading his quarterback.
Kyrie Irving, for dropping 40 on the Knicks.
Maybe even Giancarlo Stanton for blasting that 971-foot grand slam back home, in New York, a blast that altered satellite transmissions.
The Mets could use all the talking points and all the distractions that littered a busy Monday in New York City — hell, we didn’t even get to the Final Four yet! — because that may be the one thing that prevents a full-blown onset of Panic City after exactly one game and nine innings.
Cohen, watching the game with his family in front of his home TV, could not have liked much of what he saw Monday, and in a parallel universe he might actually have spent the latter hours of the night calling up radio stations, Stevie from Great Neck railing about this 5-3 opening-night loss to the Phillies that cracked the team’s Closet of Anxieties and let a flood of them spill out.